Doritos; my long lost love.

So today there was an offer on Doritos at the shop near my school. They were half price. It was beautiful.
I bought a bag of the chili heatwave ones.
So when lunchtime rolls around, I sit on the floor and start at these doritos. It was like an epic journey. I was a climber, and these doritos were my Everest. I ate half of them in one sitting, and my mouth was on fire.
Despite the burning pain of the doritos, I still wanted them. But apparently the sight of me sitting there with half a giant bag of doritos with my mouth hanging open meant that I didn't want them.
But I totally bloody wanted them.
Some teacher strolled past me, and reached in to grab a handful. He took an entire handful. No thankyou, no hello, nothing. Just stealing my doritos like he owns the place.
BTW, this teacher is the one who pooped a rainbow. Just sayin'.
 
Seriously, am I being melodramatic, or was he being out of line? Those are my doritos, for crying out loud! MINE! After that handful, the only ones left were the tiny little crap ones that were all crushed.
I legit felt like crying. Those were my doritos, not his. I loved them like a child. Like a lover. They were mine and I was theirs, it was a beautiful relationship.

See these pill bugs? It was like that. Only instead of three of them, it was just me. Or maybe my soul split up into fragments over those sweet doritos. The one on the left, he is climbing them. That part of my soul wants to achieve the consumption of every dorito there for the purposes of enlightenment. That part of my soul knows what true power is, true strength. It wants and it shall have. That middle one? That part of my soul is just going for it. It wants to be full. It craves food like a fat person on a celery diet. It wants those spicy delicious chunks of fried potato inside of it. It must have it. It wants to gorge forever in spicy paradise. And gorge it shall. That big one on the right is being cautious. It loves those doritos like a soulmate. that part of my soul wants to cherish them forever, to be a part of them and to mould into one beautiful, blissful chunk of love. It knows how to please and savour those doritos, and it wants a fully serious relationship with them. Possibly with children.

That is how my soul wanted to deal with those doritos. But no. That teacher broke my heart, by stealing them. I can never love like that again.

I will be heartbroken for the rest of my tortured, doritoless life.